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Finding Light in the Darkness: My Journey with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD)

Introduction

Hello there! My name is Noriel, and today I want to share a personal story that has shaped my life over the past few years. It’s a story of struggle but also of hope, resilience, and the power of seeking help. Join me as I take you through my journey with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD) and how I found my way back to happiness.

A Clouded Sky 

In 2018, life took an unexpected turn when I left my favorite job. At first, I thought it was just the usual sadness and loneliness accompanying major life changes. However, little did I know that this was just the beginning of a darker path. As the days passed, my emotions intensified, and I sank deeper into despair.

Desperate Whispers 

By 2019, my inner turmoil had reached its peak. I experienced inexplicable bouts of sadness, and thoughts I couldn’t comprehend started haunting me. I remember wishing to be hit by a car for reasons I couldn’t fathom. The weight of these thoughts became unbearable, and I cried at the most unexpected moments.

Sometimes, for some reason, I could travel accompanied by my partner. During these trips, I hoped to find solace and escape from the overwhelming weight of my emotions. However, even amid beautiful scenery and new adventures, there were still moments when the reality of my inner struggles would hit me hard. Sometimes I would break down and cry, unable to contain the sadness and frustration that consumed me.

It was perplexing for both me and my partner. We would be surrounded by breathtaking landscapes or enjoy delicious meals. Yet, tears would well up in my eyes, seemingly out of nowhere. It was as if my emotions had their own mind, disregarding the external circumstances and focusing solely on the pain within.

I remember one particular instance when we were exploring a vibrant city. The streets were filled with laughter, music, and the delightful aroma of street food. I should have been filled with excitement and wonder, but an overwhelming sense of sadness washed over me. 

I struggled to find the words to explain what was happening inside me. How could I make sense of the tears that seemed to have no logical explanation? It was not about the place or the experience but the constant battles within my mind and heart. I reassured my partner that his presence and support meant the world to me and that these tears did not reflect their actions or our relationship.

In those moments, my partner showed immense understanding and empathy. He held me close, offering a comforting embrace, reminding me I was not alone in this journey. His presence became a source of strength, a reminder that love and support could transcend the darkest moments.

While it may have been challenging for my partner to witness these episodes of random tears, he never gave up on me. He became my rock, my pillar of support, reminding me that seeking professional help was crucial for my well-being. Together, we decided to reach out to the Philippine General Hospital’s psychiatrist clinic, taking the first step towards understanding and addressing the root causes of my emotional turmoil.

The Turning Point 

Amidst the chaos within me, the world plunged into a pandemic. The isolation and uncertainty only added fuel to the fire. Recognizing my distress, my partner gently encouraged me to seek help. It was a difficult step, but it proved to be life-changing. With renewed determination, I decided to visit the Philippine General Hospital’s psychiatrist clinic.

How to Get a Schedule from the PGH Online Consultation Request and Appointment System (OCRA)

The Philippine General Hospital (PGH) has an online system called the OCRA for scheduling appointments. This system is designed to make it easier for patients to book appointments and to ensure that the appropriate doctor sees them.

How to Register for an Account

To register for an account, visit the OCRA website at https://pghopd.up.edu.ph/. Once on the website, click the “Register” button. You will be asked to provide your personal information, including your name, date of birth, and contact information. You will also need to create a username and password.

How to Schedule an Appointment

Once you have registered for an account, you can start scheduling appointments. To do this, click on the “Schedule Appointment” button. You will be asked to select the department you want to see, the date and time of your appointment, and the doctor you want to see.

Tips for Scheduling an Appointment

  • It is best to schedule your appointment as early as possible. The OCRA system is limited to 500 new patients daily, so appointments can fill up quickly.
  • If you cannot schedule an appointment online, call the OCRA hotline at 155-200.
  • Be sure to bring your appointment card with you to your appointment.

Shedding Light on the Shadows 

After a series of consultations and assessments at the clinic and via Zoom, I received a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD). While it was a relief to put a name to my suffering, it also meant confronting the reality of living with a mental health condition. My psychiatrist prescribed medication, which was a turning point in my battle against MDD. 

 

In the beginning, taking medication to manage my condition was quite disorienting. I experienced bouts of dizziness and lightheadedness, making adjusting to the prescribed medication challenging. At times, I found myself oversleeping, unable to shake off the grogginess that accompanied the treatment.

Despite these initial hurdles, I remained determined to confront my struggles head-on. During these moments, I recognized a flicker of bravery within me. Despite the overwhelming darkness that enveloped my thoughts, I held onto a tiny spark of hope. I wanted to fight, even when the odds seemed stacked against me and the glimmer of hope appeared minuscule. I discovered an inner strength that allowed me to face the battles within, defying the overwhelming desire to end my life.

There were moments when it felt like an uphill battle, and I questioned if I could truly overcome the despair that seemed to follow me relentlessly. However, I noticed subtle changes as I persisted on this arduous journey. Small victories emerged from the shadows, providing glimpses of the light that awaited me.

With the guidance of my psychiatrist, we fine-tuned the medication, aiming to strike the right balance for my unique needs. It was a process of trial and error, with adjustments made to minimize the side effects and enhance the therapeutic benefits. Alongside medication, I engaged in therapy sessions that became a safe space to explore the depths of my emotions, fears, and aspirations.

 

As time went on, I started to notice a gradual improvement in my overall well-being. The fog of depression began to lift, allowing moments of clarity and joy to seep through. It was not a sudden transformation but a journey of small steps toward healing. I found solace in the support of my loved ones, who stood by my side through the ups and downs, reminding me of my worth and the love that surrounded me.

While the road to recovery is not without its challenges, I have realized it is a journey worth taking. Through resilience and perseverance, I discovered a newfound appreciation for life’s simple pleasures. The laughter of loved ones, the beauty of nature, and the joy of pursuing my passions became beacons of hope in the darkest times.

The Journey to Recovery 

My path to recovery was not a straight line. It involved trial and error, experimenting with different medications, and even exploring the benefits of supplements. It required perseverance and patience as I learned to navigate the ups and downs of treatment. Throughout the process, I discovered the importance of self-care, therapy, and the unwavering support of loved ones.

Exploring Holistic Support: My Top 4 Supplements

In my journey toward finding holistic support for my mental health, I discovered some incredible supplements that have positively impacted my well-being. Alongside my prescribed medication and therapy, these supplements have played a significant role in my battle against depression. Let me share with you my top four favorites:

1. Astaxanthin

Have you heard of this powerful antioxidant derived from marine algae? Astaxanthin is a game-changer! It’s known for its anti-inflammatory properties and has been shown to boost mood and overall well-being. Incorporating astaxanthin into my daily routine has helped me reduce the frequency and intensity of my depressive symptoms. It’s like a natural mood booster!

2. Probiotics

Believe it or not, there’s a strong connection between our gut health and mental well-being. That’s where probiotics come in! These live bacteria support a healthy gut microbiome. My mood and mental clarity have improved by restoring the balance of good bacteria in my gut. Probiotics have become an essential supplement in my mental health toolkit.

3. Fish Oil

Ever heard of omega-3 fatty acids? They’re the superheroes in fish oil! Omega-3s, like EPA and DHA, are known to support brain health, reduce inflammation, and may help alleviate symptoms of depression. Incorporating a high-quality fish oil supplement into my daily routine has supported my overall well-being. It’s like nourishment for my brain!

4. Organic Moringa

Let me introduce you to the “miracle tree” – organic moringa! This incredible plant is jam-packed with vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. Incorporating moringa into my diet has been a game-changer. It has helped improve my energy levels and provided a natural boost to my mood. It’s like having a vitality superhero on my side!

 

Remember, when considering supplements, it’s essential to consult with a healthcare professional to find what works best for you. Every person is unique, and what works for me may not have the same effect on you. In my case, I always made sure to consult with my healthcare provider before incorporating these supplements into my routine. We crafted a plan that suited my needs and aligned with my prescribed medication.

I encourage you to explore the potential benefits of supplements but always do so under the guidance of a healthcare professional. Together, you can find the right combination of therapies and supplements that work best for your well-being.

Embracing the Light 

Reflecting on my journey, I am confident I am in a better place. While there are still moments when the shadows try to creep back in, I have learned to recognize and manage them. Through therapy and medication, I have regained my ability to sleep peacefully, find joy in the little things, and embrace life’s beauty again.

Conclusion

My experience with Major Depressive Disorder has taught me invaluable lessons about the strength of the human spirit and the importance of seeking help. If you are in a similar situation, know you are not alone. Reach out to a mental health professional, confide in your loved ones, and never underestimate the power of resilience. Remember, there is always light at the end of the tunnel, waiting for you to embrace it.

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